The Laughing Policeman

The nutty tune The Laughing Policeman has been around since the late 19th century, George Washington Johnson wrote the original version that Charles Penrose later adapted to the song we know today and to which the herbert below made into a video and I purloined as a reason to be cheerful...

Cockney Rhyming Slang - Radio

Radio Rentals was formed in 1932 to do just that, rent out radios, later they rented televisions and then a host of electrical items. The business model dipped considerably in the 1980s and has now ceased trading in the UK.
So what has this former British company become known for in Cockney rhyming slang? Not being beholden to too much political correctness "radio rental" is rhyming slang for mental.

Let's use it in a sentence:
"On Deal or No Deal today the guy was left with £1,000 and £75,000, the banker offered £24,000 and he turned it down, even if he'd have won the seventy five grand he'd still be radio"

Cockney Rhyming Slang - Whistle

A whistle = whistle and flute = suit.

"When I got hitched I bought a new whistle and had my barnet tickled up"

Ross' New Cockney Rhyming Slang - Terry Wogan

Under international football team qualification rules I am technically a cockney, my dad having been born within the sound of the Bow bells, so despite my Mancunian upbringing I hereby claim my right to occasionally invent my own rather pointless Cockney rhyming slang.

So in the first and possibly only one of this series, I will introduce a Terry Wogan, a term which will become adapted by any Cockneys working in the advertising or political arenas to mean 'slogan'.

I will use it in a sentence to illustrate:

"I could never understand why "A Mars a day, helps you work, rest and play" was discontinued as a Terry Wogan for Mars bars".

My Old Dutch

The Albert Chevalier song My Old Dutch is a British classic. Chevalier was born in 1861 and was a stalwart of Music Hall. Chevalier was married to the daughter of music hall's original Champagne Charlie George Leybourne.

I mentioned who Chevalier was married to as the dutch in the title refers to his wife, 'dutch' being Cockney rhyming slang for wife, 'duchess of fife' = wife.

I doubt I could write a better entry than this one about Chevalier and the song, so I won't.

The song was written in 1892 by Chevalier and his brother (billed as Charles Ingle), possibly the first song to be made into a film in 1915 and then again in 1926 and 1934, it has been recorded by countless artists, a Peter Sellers' version is excellent.

However we turn to my old friends the Muppets for this version which appeared in the UK edition of The Muppet Show.

So 3 reasons to be cheerful, rhyming slang, a song and the Muppets.

Cockney Rhyming Slang - Tod Slaughter

Tod Slaughter was a British stage and film actor, his career started with the heroic lead and his notoriety sprang from his later portrayal of murderers and ne'er do wells. Interesting then that his name should become cockney rhyming slang for daughter.

Let's use it in a sentence:

"In the film The King's Speech, the King's tod slaughter is the Queen, you know?"

Jim Henson's Muppet Show pitch

The Apprentice candidates could learn a thing or two from Jim Henson's original Muppet Show pitch. It has everything, information, entertainment, confidence, a selling point, a definite product, but enough of that, just watch it!

Cockney Rhyming Slang - Cobbler's

Rhyming slang is often used to cover up even more offensive words, the oft used "berk" as an insult derives from the rhyming slang of "The Berkeley Hunt". (you can work that out for yourself, I'm too polite!).

Today's word is from "cobbler's awls", instruments used by cobblers (shoe menders) for punching holes in leather.
If you haven't already guessed cobbler's awls is rhyming slang for balls, which can be used to mean men's testicles ("he got a kick in the cobbler's") or more commonly for nonsense or rubbish.

Let's use it in a sentence:

"All that talk of weapons of mass destruction turned out to be a load of old cobbler's" which translates to "Politicians talk a lot of crap".

Manchester Day Parade 2011 - It's just too loud!

Manchester Day Parade 2011 - Morrissey is still big in Manchester